When I newly met Morenike Vincent, one thing I admired about her was the way she talked about her friends. I kept craving for her kind of friendship and today I have one of the sweetest circle that I am so proud of.
I am naturally a very friendly person but having too many friends isn’t my thing or should I just say I like to keep my circle small.
Many times you hear people say things like trust nobody, never confide in friends because they will always fail you. Those who say that are probably right because they might have spoken from a place of hurt or it’s just their experience speaking through them.
As valid as those reasons are, here is my take on friendship; your friends are like your squad who you need to fight the battles of life.
Friends are companions you need to carry in your bag pack all the time, especially for the reason that you cannot do life alone. You will need people around you all the time. After family members, friends will always fill that vacuum. Your friends are like your troupe members you need them for battle all the time. There are so many battles that you fight in life and you really do need people in your camp to win.
The kind of friends you keep is determined by the kind of person you are. You can’t be a good person and have bad people as friends, so also you can’t be serious minded and have people who like to waste away their lives as friends.
However, there can be toxic friendship. I have been there, don’t try to manage it, just leave once it isn’t giving you fulfillment. Here are some signs to know if your friendship is toxic:
Talking about competing friends, hmmnnn! They are toxic, run from them. I used to have people like that too. I could go to any length to do things for them, and the minute I do something good, I get this attitude from them. I remember I tried to hold on to them all in the name that I didn’t want to lose another friend but the moment I walked away, I found true fulfillment.
Friendship isn’t supposed to be a competitive thing, I am happy for my friends successes, the same way they are happy for me. We complete one another not compete with ourselves. Whenever a person comes close to me and I see that you are the ‘Show them pepper’ kind of person, I just step aside for you. We obviously do have the same motive. How beautiful is my circle when we are all doing well in our chosen paths; that’s what I what my circle to look like not me wanting to show off to my friends that I am Allmighty
When you have friends who like to keep secrets, it’s not the best. Such friends obviously do not trust you enough to tell you their secrets. After a while of telling them too much, you will start to feel bad for always telling them and bitterness can set in for you. There’s no need for friendship when there is no trust.
Friends who always want you to see them as a super person isn’t too sincere with you because in the true sense, nobody is. You see the humanity in people in the place of weakness and strength.
A friend is just someone you do life with, someone who is there for you, who understands you, who gives you strength in the place of your weakness. I mean there are friends who do more for people than family members.
If you don’t have people you talk to about your deepest fears, pains, joy, successes, victories, down moments, you might never get the healing that you need. As you might never go as far as you dream. There must be people you confide in before taking some serious decisions in life. You are not an Island; nobody is. You should have friends who you are sincere with and are also sincere enough to look you into the eyes and tell you the truth on issues no matter how much it hurts.
One of my secrets of overcoming pains is having people who I can talk to and the fact that I accept their encouragements. Nothing beats having people you can talk to. You should start doing this too.
Don’t see friends as people who will betray or injure you, you need good friends in life; choose good ones and cherish them. They will always be there for you no matter what. Good friends beat the challenge of time, distance and space, the bond remains strong no matter what.
I have the best of friends and I cherish them so much, you should too.
TemmyFlorah is a lover of God, a journalist and an enthusiastic person who believes that nobody is useless except as a reason of choice.
Temmy had her own share of fear which held her down from discovering her real identity.
Having gained her freedom, she helps and encourages others to break free from whatever holds them bound.