Mistakes don't mar you

I almost lost a beautiful life over a boy

Iyinoluwa Onobote is a totally pleasant woman that I love dearly. Her experience in this piece is totally relatable as I faced some level of depression for the same reason. She is someone I learn a lot from and I believe you will learn a thing or two from reading this piece. Don’t forget to thank me after reading this one…

I remember finding mathematics quite easy in secondary school, that made me opt for engineering as my undergraduate course of study. I also excelled in economics, but for some reason, I did not consider a career in economics. I don’t think I knew I could study economics as at the time I was thinking of career options. Later on, one of my secondary school besties went on to study economics but I still did not consider it.

I got into the university and things were great. However, at some point, I had personal issues that made learning tough so I concluded I made a mistake opting for Engineering. I found out about economics and what the course was like from my friend and wallowed in self-pity for not being well-informed when picking a course of study. Things got so serious that decided that I would leave school and start all over with economics. However, my mother was quick to kick such thoughts out of my head, not forcefully but lovingly. I was more frustrated knowing it was going to be a silly decision to leave school. The breakthrough came when I told myself that I could overcome that challenge if I applied myself.

So what was the origin of all these? How did things suddenly go south? A relationship! Thinking about it now, I find it hilarious but at the time, it was as though my existence was tied to it. It was my first relationship and it ended in ‘premium hot tears’. In my sorry state, I allowed it to affect my academics, I started finding things difficult and thought my course was the problem. I started feeling I should have chosen another course suddenly instead of applying myself. Who told me that economics too would not require hard work?¬†

Things kept escalating and got to a climax when I refused to read for the most part of a semester and had a carry over. I could not believe my eyes. I was someone that would pass somehow even when I did not read- not an A with little or no effort but not an F either. That carry over shook me but it was what I needed to jolt me back to reality quickly and reset my senses.

After the carryover, I was worse off. I began to regret allowing my issues compound. I thought about the shame of doing a course with my juniors and other things. It was so crippling to think about. I began to realise suddenly that I had good grades and was just being discouraged out of engineering because of some guy. I began to see that I was doing well but allowed myself to think I wasn’t doing well because of one or two challenges.

I sat down to analyze my situation and learnt some lessons that I needed to learn very early. I learnt that the fact that a particular part of my life is facing a challenge does not mean my entire life is facing a challenge! I allowed myself to see challenges in my academics because I felt defeated from a failed relationship. When I raised my head up and said, “you know what, yes this area isn’t working but all other areas are so we move while figuring out the challenging area, ” I had no idea this lesson would prove to be so valuable years later.

Another lesson I learnt was that if I allow a small thing fester, it becomes cancerous and then develops into a real problem. That experience also taught me never to make permanent decisions over temporary emotions. Never again!

In retrospect, I am so thankful I made that mistake then and learnt my lessons very early. I am glad it was a carryover that could easily be salvaged and not some more serious life-altering event. I have never for once forgotten the lessons or made such mistakes again. I have made other mistakes after, but not the same kind and that’s the way things should be. We might not be able to avoid mistakes totally, but a wise person learns quickly and becomes better.

I did become better and I am thankful for that.

Iyinoluwa Onobote is a Jesus girl, wife of a great man, and mother of two adorable sons. An engineer by profession, a parenting coach, and the founder of YoungMumsPray, an online hub for young Christian mothers. She is also the author of Daily with Jesus Devotional.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *