Mum! I now have a boyfriend

That Wednesday when my mum called me and told me she already heard a gist. My intuition was at work, I knew it was the ‘boy’ gist.  I was scared and knew the only saving grace is to tell my mum the whole truth. I told her the truth but little did I know that I was going to pick a very important life lesson from it. Enjoy…


“Mummy, I now have a boyfriend,” I told my mum several
years ago.  My mum maintained her calm as she watched her 18-year-old
daughter tell her about this guy that is making her head turninoniown.

“Okay, who is this guy?” She asked.

“His name is ‘B’” (We would use the acronym ‘B’ to represent the boyfriend).
I replied.

“Really! How were you able to pull through with it without raising any
suspicion?” She further enquired.

I didn’t say anything rather I gave a sheepish smile like a lover with
plenty butterflies in her tummy.

“But I know his girlfriends. He is dating so, so and so,” she said still
trying to find out what was happening with her girl.

This time, I had to tell my mum the whole truth, “Yes, I know. But because I
couldn’t allow him touch me; I didn’t mind him having other girls.”

Now that I am all grown up, I can picture how hot my
mum’s blood was as we continued with the conversation. She counselled, “That is a very wrong judgement, you don’t take such position when it concerns important life issues. Whatever you wouldn’t tolerate when you become big; don’t tolerate it when you are small. Would you want to marry a polygamist? Would you be cool with it if your husband has side chick? You don’t even need a boyfriend now; you need to face your life seriously.  You would need to break that relationship now because it is not healthy for you.”

That was how my post secondary school love affair ended
and I got over the ‘boyfriend fever’. Apparently, I got too serious and forgot that people would sometime need such relationships much later in life. Lol

I took that phrase from the discussion I had with my mum
many years ago and held it so closely to my heart.  I took it not just for the sake of subsequent romantic relationships but as a life lesson. I must deal with issues, habits, traits and characters that I don’t want to see in my future.

There are character traits, habits and issues that should
be dealt with at their early stages, so that it doesn’t bring you disgrace, pain or cost you something huge much later.  Like the popular Yoruba adage; Ati kekere lati n peka iroko, to ba dagba tan a maa gbebo lowo eni (Trim the branches of an iroko tree while it is young, when it matures completely it cannot be bent)

Let’s think this through… Where are you aimed for in
life? What are your goals, dreams and aspirations? Do you think that those attitudes would be needed in your life’s journey? If not, are your dreams worth being wasted because of those little foxes? Then be truthful to yourself by not indulging them.

Don’t leave the bad seeds to grow, KILL THEM NOW!




10 Replies to “Mum! I now have a boyfriend”

  1. This is making sense, finally. Very very instructive, not obstructive. In a foreseeable future, this concept will be a benchmark for ”agony columns”. You know I love you. Despite your orikunkun. I am proud of you, always. Keep on keeping on . I will be expecting my personal love letter.

    1. Awwwwnnn! Thanks so much. We can’t wait to serve you more loveletters from this platform. We are greatly encourgaed by your post.

  2. “Whatever you wouldn’t tolerate when you become big; don’t tolerate it when you are small.”

    Mantra! Great Read @TFLL

  3. Very valuable life lesson here. The story also teaches that we should never settle for less that we are made for. Thank you for this piece.

  4. Mum, I have a boyfriend! At age 18? That’s death for some us at that age. Temmy, I’m sure you understand better.

    Killing the bad seeds really help in growing bigger and better. Thanks for the love letter, I hope to get a personal love letter too soon?. Keep it up girl?

    1. Yes oh Banke! It was crazy but thank God I opened up to her, it helped me and taught me a very important lesson in life.

      You will get one from me on your birthday. Many thanks dear! these words keep us going.

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