I usually don’t like to do the love-talk on this platform, but I think we should break the norm with this, you would learn a thing or two from here….
I have always had to do things for everyone but myself. So, somewhere in my subconsciousness, every form of personal development, upgrade was to prepare me as fitting for the man of my dreams and this I did for years.
There is this syndrome among single people about wanting to be the ‘perfect one’ for your spouse. I had learned to do so many chores very early in life. I had prepared myself to be a smart woman and known God since childhood and became so serious with him in my teen years. What more would a man want from a woman who is godly, smart, devout, studios and wifely? Trust me, my head was always held high when it comes to ‘boy matters’. I had prepared myself well enough maybe just some little adjustments to his person I guess.
So, eventually, I met the ‘man of my dreams’ and we were just the perfect couple in my eyes. I wanted to be everything a man wanted in his woman. I quickly started to do some personal development courses, I started thinking of how to be the amazing finance manager and when I knew he likes enterprises; I began to pray and think of business ideas. I just had to be his best half by every possible means. After the long periods of waiting for the glorious coming of my man, I couldn’t afford to be found wanting at all.
In the course of my Personal development class, there was a module on recharging your battery. We discussed battery chargers, and how to be your own charger. I didn’t pay attention to the recharge your own battery part as I was so sure of my battery chargers.
Eventually, ‘my dream man’ walked out on me, which means my major battery charger was gone. I could no longer recharge my battery. I remembered the module again and again. I tried times and times again to go back to my life before ‘my dream man’ came but it wouldn’t just work. It was a whole lot of struggle; I didn’t even know how I survived that season of my life. (Of course, my friends were there for me, days when I cried and lamented and all they did was watch me cry and listen to my foolish talks of how we could still make things work. Many sleepless nights as sleep and I were in a fierce battle)
But I was on a quest which I didn’t intend to give up on, I was going to find myself; I was going to learn how to be my own charger. I tried several times and after unrelenting efforts, I DID IT; YES, I FOUND STRENGTH FROM WITHIN ME. I was going to live for myself , never again will I be me so I could get the approval of anyone. I found my healing and I was bent on living my dreams; I am not doing it for anyone else. Yes, and during that period of healing, I got a major leap in the pursuit of my dreams.
Friends, you need to start living your life to please yourself, question your motives for doing things, don’t seek validation from anyone. You are good just as you are. If you need you need to do better in an area, do it well for you, Don’t lean too much on others to help you find yourself. In as much as you need people around to get to your desired DESTINATION, life is still a personal journey.
If you have done that all the while, it is time you started learning to BE YOUR OWN CHARGER!
TemmyFlorah is a lover of God, a journalist and an enthusiastic person who believes that nobody is useless except as a reason of choice.
Temmy had her own share of fear which held her down from discovering her real identity.
Having gained her freedom, she helps and encourages others to break free from whatever holds them bound.