Fear was one thing that held me captive for a very long time, so I write a lot around that place. Let’s say I took a clue from the previous article. Enjoy another article on fear
In the previous article, we established that fear is an enemy. Having settled that, we need to know what exactly our fear is; what are we afraid of that doesn’t make us chase our dreams?
We need to be exact on this; we can’t be ignorant and win fear, unfortunately, ignorance is not an excuse.
There is need for a thoughtful in-depth search and knowing so that one can face the enemy squarely. Just as we can’t afford to go to the battlefront without knowing our enemy is the same way we can’t face fear without the knowledge of what exactly we are afraid of.
I remember vividly I was in my 200 level when my battle with fear started. I never knew what failure was till then. I always went for whatever I wanted and I would get it until when I had my first and only set of carryovers.
Gosh! I was discouraged, broken, demoralized and depressed and I withdrew. The truth is I was never able to rise to where I was before then. I got to a valley where I was constantly afraid of failing and remained there for a very long time. My fears were sincere, I did not want to go through that same experience again because my ego was hurt, I was bruised and burdened. But the truth is that if I had overcome my fear earlier, I sure would have done better with my final grades. Thankfully, I did well, but it was a narrow escape.
It would have been easier if I knew that was the fear, if I had detected on time that, that was my fear perhaps I would have fought it earlier rather than just avoiding it or should I say living as an hostage of fear of failure for years.
Beyond the classroom experience, some of us are scared of failing and because of that, we shelve ourselves, we don’t ever want to break new grounds, we don’t want to try new things. This is necessarily not in the big things that we do but even in the seemingly insignificant decisions that we take.
I know some people who could not commit themselves to emotional relationship because of fear of emotional breakdown. Some have been there and they do not want to pass through that route again. They are really sincere with their feelings and fears, but irrespective, you can’t be there for too long.
In such situations, we have to make deliberate decisions and say:
“Although I have failed in this, I won’t fail again because I have learnt my mistakes.” The greatest experience is gathered from learning from one’s mistake. It’s not the best way of learning but it has the greatest impact out of all forms of learning. Once, you are able to see the lessons that is therein, trust me you can’t make the same mistake again.
Another aspect or should I say kind of fear is that of Uncertainty. We feel insecure, we don’t know what lies ahead of us and because of that don’t want to press forward. We want to remain in our today or wallow in our yesterday so as to be on the safe side. We ask ourselves the ‘WHAT IF QUESTIONS’ what if I fail, what if no one believes in me, what if no one sees me etc…
When the ‘what ifs’ pops up simply answer;
What if I fail? I will try again
What if no one believe in me? I’ll just believe in myself
What if no one sees me? That doesn’t mean I am not making impact.
The real danger is in not trying at all, because there will be a part of us that is discontented; not finding happiness because we are tied down, a part that feels starved, we can’t be sure of safety living in the past, true security lies in the future. GO AHEAD, MOVE.
Push through this fear and be ready to give it all it takes and you will discover that you can beat limits. There is more in the future.
When we can find enough courage to be truthful to ourselves and take out time to find out what really is the fear, then we can start making headway.
TemmyFlorah is a lover of God, a journalist and an enthusiastic person who believes that nobody is useless except as a reason of choice.
Temmy had her own share of fear which held her down from discovering her real identity.
Having gained her freedom, she helps and encourages others to break free from whatever holds them bound.